Hello, it’s me. Four years later and it’s the same old routine. I’ve found comfort in my everyday activities, fallen in love with the relationships I’ve established, and found my home in everything I do. Back in 2013, I had a reputation as, “The-girl-that-didn’t-want-to-go-to-college.”
Now, let me tell you, it wasn’t because I didn’t desire higher education. It was the anxiety-provoking thought of leaving everything I’ve invested so much time and effort in over the last four years and potentially losing all of it that I dreaded. I also couldn’t fathom the idea of making the “right” decision. It’s no secret that my family had a very different plan for my collegiate experience than I had for myself. Over time, I realized there was no “right” decision. It was the decision that was best for me and my dreams and the answer would eventually follow. But, until I had that personal revelation, every family function became the exciting time of asking, “Does Tara know what she’s doing yet?” or “Is she finally ready to talk about it?” The summer before my senior year, my family took our very first big family vacation and I made a rule before we left that we couldn’t talk about college. Thankfully, most of them were able to abide by my policy, but it didn’t make college “go away.”
Now, here I am about to g-word from college. Where in the heck did the time go? I may not have an answer for that, but what I do have is confidence. Confidence in myself, my abilities, and that everything will work out in the end. Yes, I still resonate with senior-year-of-high-school-Tara by getting butterflies about the uncertain future and by discouraging discussion of things such as the g-word, future, and senior-oriented festivities. HOWEVER, after going to college and seeing that everything I was so worried about losing from high school has remained in tact, I’m solidifying my confidence in everything I’ve invested in during these last 4 years. I’m confident that the connections, friendships, and memories I’ve worked so hard to create will follow me wherever I go in whatever I do.
I’m not worried about the future and I don’t have a 5 year plan. I am however, cognizant of future endeavors, such as paying back loans and finding stability in a career, but that’s not what life is about. Life is about seeking experience and memories that will last you a lifetime.
Finding this confidence does not mean I’m by any means ready to move on or g-word by any means, but it does mean that I am ready to live life everyday with a positive attitude for both now and in the future. I hope that those of you also in the same g-word boat don’t wish this time away to move into the future too quickly, but take each day as a gift and encourage others to do the same. That, my friends is what we should be concerning ourselves with each day. Find your magic and what makes you happy…and the peace and confidence in what is to come shall follow.